Chapter 4 – Making Mistakes

 

They lingered over their ice cream longer than they should have, and as a result a mad dash back to Jack’s apartment to change was required. Once inside, Tilly dashed to the guest room and closed the door, then frantically peeled off her clothes before spraying herself with passion fruit-scented deodorant and slipping on her dress.

The white fabric, patterned with blood-red roses and dark green stems, complemented her dark her perfectly. She swept the mass of poker-straight strands up, securing it and then sliding in a clip shaped like a big white flower. The clip served no supportive purpose; it simply sat in her hair and made the arrangement look pretty. She let a few strands of hair fall loose to stroke the side of her neck.

She slipped into white, sling-back shoes, and then she was ready.

Wonder how Jack’s getting on with his suit.

He’d looked utterly mouth-watering in the store earlier. She expected that he’d turn many a head at the wedding.

But he’s my date.

The thought sent a little tingle of awareness spiralling through her.

Quit being so stupid. What the hell was wrong with her, she had no idea. But she’d better buck her ideas up. Jack was her friend; her best friend – and there it ended. She’d be an idiot to jeopardize the brilliant friendship they had by attempting to make it into more. And if he didn’t return her feelings – he was a man, he probably had no idea – then she’d only make a fool of herself into the bargain.

Shaking her head at herself, Tilly applied a thin sheen of powder to her face, and a coat of gloss to her lips, then emerged from the spare room.

Jack turned at the sound, and Tilly’s heart leapt almost painfully in her chest. Her throat constricted.

He’s gorgeous. And oh, he was so much more, but that was the only word that came to mind right now. Absolutely, heart-racingly, dreamily, film-worthy gorgeous.

He’d neatened up his hair a bit, so the dark brown mass fell around his face in some sort of order. His blue gaze seemed to burn into her, his eyes framed like portraits behind the dark, thin frames of his glasses.

“You ready?” Tilly asked. The words came out like a squeak.

Jack was silent for a long moment. “I.. You’re wearing a dress,” he said, almost like it was an accusation.

A laugh bubbled up in Tilly’s throat. “I have been known, on occasion, to put on a dress.”

He shrugged. “I’ve just never seen you wear one before.” He chuckled.

She couldn’t resist spinning a small circle in the room. “And do you approve?”

Jack’s gaze skimmed over her. She noticed that his gaze lingered on her legs. “Let’s go,” he said quietly. Tilly thought he looked just a little bit sad, but she couldn’t imagine why that could be.

“Okay,” she acquiesced, and grabbed her bag.

 

 

 

The Bronx Botanical Gardens had been an excellent choice for a wedding venue, Jack thought later as he enjoyed the scenery while Tilly talked to a female friend.

She stood out among the people here, a delicate, Asian blossom with pale skin and sleek, coal-black hair. The other women here had taken pains to tamper with what nature had given them – bottle-red, yellow or blue hair, multiple piercings, trowelled-on fake tan.

Not that he held any of that against them. Hey, you only had one life to live, why not be happy with the way you looked?

But Tilly, beautiful Tilly, stood out with her natural glow.

Whoa, whoa. God, this wedding stuff must be messing with his head. He was here as a favour, nothing more. Just to fend off questions about when she was getting married.

And he had. But in doing so, he’d incurred so many questions about himself. How long had he been seeing Tilly? Did he think they were getting serious? Did he believe in marriage? Did he want children?

Jack had a headache just thinking about it. Tilly’s huge family might mean well, but they made him kinda scared to go near them.

Some of her cousins – and oh boy, did she have a ton – stood a few feet away now, talking animatedly in Mandarin and gesturing to him now and again. He had no idea what they were saying, and quite frankly, he thought it might be for the best.

Tilly came over then, grinning up at him. “Sorry. Weren’t bored, were you?”

“A bit,” he admitted. “But then I started to imagine what your cousins over there were saying about me, and the time flashed past.”

Tilly thwacked him with her bag, but there was no real anger behind her movement. “They… mean well.”

“That isn’t what you said earlier.”

She frowned. “Just because they mean well doesn’t mean I appreciate it. God. Chinese families are sort of like rats. Everywhere are once.”

Jack laughed out loud. “And I’m sure your mother would be thrilled to hear you say that.”

“Shut up.” She hooked her arm good-naturedly through his. “Let’s walk a bit.”

The reception was held in a sprawling, Japanese-style area of the Botanical gardens. Tilly led them to a small bridge that curved over a pool of water. The water’s surface lay still as the dead, water lilies floating atop it like ghosts.

Tilly broke her contact with Jack and hooked her arms over the side of the low bridge. “Isn’t this peaceful?”

Jack nodded. “It is pretty here.”                                      

They watched the water lilies float aimlessly for a few moments. The sound of rushing water, as if from a faraway waterfall, echoed somewhere in the distance.

“This is a great place to get married,” Tilly mused. “Of course, to plan that sort of thing, I’d need a boyfriend, then a fiancé.”

Jack didn’t think she’d have too much trouble with either of those. He’d seen her turn plenty of heads today. But, he said nothing. Suddenly the thought of Tilly announcing her relationship with someone made his chest hurt.

I’m sure everything will go back to normal once she returns to Chicago.

And even if it didn’t straight away – out of sight was out of mind, right?

“Do you want to get married?” Tilly asked suddenly, her gaze still fixed on some distant point.

Jack’s gaze stroked over the line of her back in the dress she wore. “I don’t know. Maybe; when the right woman comes along.”

Tilly turned, leaning lazily against the bridge. “How do you know?” She pinpointed him with a shrewd look. “I mean, how do you know you want to spend your life with someone? That’s a long time.”

“Tell me about it.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. I suppose you just know.”

She made a face. “That’s what the films tell you.”

Jack grinned. “And you don’t subscribe to all the romantic fluff in the cinema or on DVD?”

Tilly pursed her lips. “Sometimes.” She moved away from the side of the bridge. “I don’t know. I just think… I like being able to take off whenever I want, to go anywhere…. And I just think that if I got tied down, I might not have that sort of freedom.”

Jack had a sudden image of them backpacking through the Far East together, or flying to Amsterdam, or watching Safari animals in Africa. “With the right man you would,” he heard himself say.

Tilly rolled her shoulders restlessly. “Maybe. Let’s talk about something else. Did I really interrupt some weekend plans when I called? I mean, did you have some hot chick on standby?”

Jack laughed genuinely. “No. Sorry to disappoint you. There’s no one like that.”

And why not? A little voice in his head grumbled. The same little voice also told him that the reason why stood opposite him right now. He told the little voice where it could go.

“Maybe we’re not supposed to be monogamous,” Tilly said suddenly. She walked across the bridge, heading for a raised area with a pagoda. A few couples milled around, hand in hand, some with wine glasses.

Jack followed. “Are you telling me you’ve got several men on the go at once?”

She swatted him again. “Of course not. But it’s a lot, you know, to dedicate your life to one person.”

“Maybe that’s why the divorce rate is so high.”

Tilly laughed, the sound half humour, half horror. “Don’t say that so loud at a wedding.” But she was smiling at him.

They sat down in the pagoda. Tilly said hello to a few people she knew and they exchanged pleasantries. Jack stared at her, amused. “Do you know all the people in New York?”

“Only the Chinese ones,” she joked. “I’m just a very social person.”

Jack made a non-committal noise. He wasn’t, really. It wasn’t that he didn’t like other people. He was just not very good at holding together friendships. He could survive on his own quite well, so long as he had an adequate supple of books, video games and DVDs.

Just what did that say about him as a person?

He didn’t have long to dwell on that, however, as Tilly stood and grabbed his hand. “Come on.”

He feigned weariness. “Where are we going now?”

“People are dancing. Let’s dance.”

Jack hesitated as she tugged him. “I don’t really dance. You know that, right?”

Through the glass-empty windows of the pagoda, he spied other couples further down the long strip of Japanese garden. The band at the far end of the reception area had started to play something soothing and romantic, perfect for a summer day. A perfect song to dance to with a girlfriend or wife.

Of which Tilly was neither.

“I know,” she said in reply. “But it’ll be fun.”

He didn’t budge. “Maybe we should wait for a more… lively song.”

“Okay.” Realising when she was beat, Tilly plopped down again on one of the pagoda’s seats, and released his arm.

Jack hated to disappoint her, but he really wasn’t dance floor-worthy. He had never had been, and he truly had no inclination to learn.

It wasn’t long, though, before the band changed their tune to a more lively one. Tilly hopped up again. “Okay, Mr. Brogan. The band’s called your bluff. Are you going to dance with me or not?”

Jack stood. Fighting would only prove futile. “Okay. Come on, let’s do this. You know, your toes are pretty exposed in these shoes. Wouldn’t it be a shame if I trod all over them?”

Tilly rolled her eyes. “I am not afraid of your feet.”

“I am,” Jack grumbled, but he let her lead him to the dancing area anyway.

The singer sung excitedly about first love and dates as Jack stood still, letting Tilly guide him into position. “Here, put your hand on my waist… and hold my other hand.”

“This seems like slow song dancing,” Jack said, eyeing her suspiciously.

She grinned, unfazed by his grumpiness. “It’s all the same. You just move faster. Come on, you might even enjoy it.”

Tilly started to sway to the music, enjoying herself, even if Jack wasn’t. But she laughed and grinned at him, and before long he found her enthusiasm contagious, and he even started to have fun.

Then someone dancing behind them went a step too far, and jostled Tilly. She fell into him, and Jack reacted lightning-fast, catching her. His arms tightened around her slender frame as he tried to make sure she was all right.

“Thanks,” she said breathlessly.

“No problem.”

She lifted her face up to look at him, and close as he was, he’d only have to move an inch or so before their lips would meet.

Her eyes went wide, and knew that she was thinking the same thing, right now.

Maybe I should just do it. Their friendship would survive one kiss… right? After all, it would only be a kiss.

“Tiger-Lily? I thought it was you!”

A woman came bustling towards them through the crowd, and Jack bit back a sigh as Tilly righted herself and turned to greet the older woman.

Should’ve kissed her when I had the chance. Or maybe the other wedding guest had saved him from making a big mistake.

Yeah, a mistake. That’s what it would have been.

If that was true, then why did he feel so hollow now?

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